First thoughts, one January morning

My dad was waiting for me and my brother to shower

I could hear Jon walking up to my house. I could hear him talking to my brother. I could hear him uncovering evidence of the girl who was in my bed the night before.

I must put a tampon in but instead I ring out a giant tampon and the blood is blue.

My mom is eating donuts.

I’m outside of my high school.

I look down and there are hundreds of Juuls and other e-cigarettes just littering the ground.

Next to me is Alexa.

We wait in line, with our flat, Home Depot cart, which holds a box and a bin for the camping trip we’re about to go on. Is mine in there, too? I hope.

I lie down on top of it. It starts rolling. it rolls down the stairs. I’m yelling because I’m scared but I also know it’s going to be funny, assuming I don’t get hurt. The cart halts. “And cut!” shouts the director. Oh, good, this was all a stunt. We’re not really going camping. And I find that a relief.

Two girls who are fat and ugly bully me. I tell them what they’re doing. I say: you two are being bullies, but they refuse to own up to it.

I didn’t do anything to either of you.