When did small talk get boring? That’s a rhetorical question.
Small talk is a past time. A litmus test to identify the people with whom we want to engage in deeper conversation. Prolonged relationships. I am referencing Games People Play, a dry but compelling (and socially-paralyzing) piece of literature by Eric Berne, who dissects human interaction and renders it into geometry.
I am not about to summarize the research. At least not on this post. Besides, discussion of the work is much better suited for a cocktail party where I like to imbue small talk with subjects of actual interest, which brings me back to my original point.
The question is not when did small talk become boring, but rather when did small talk become intolerable?
They say life is about human connection. To connect with other humans we often start with small talk. Metals must first approach each other before finding out whether or not they are magnetic.
Being spellbound by the potential for unimaginable conversations, I recognize that small talk is a necessary evil. A foreplay that I must make the best of, right? And it’s never as bad as I think it’s going to be.
Eh, then again, sometimes it is.
Sometimes it’s worse. Sometimes I’m at a party or a bar and every single person I talk to is someone I’d prefer to never speak to again. It isn’t it even because our conversation was offensive but that they expect me to do all of the work. Those people can go fuck themselves.
And then sometimes I am with someone with whom I already have a relationship and we’re making small talk!
I guess that’s the gamble.
In the (sometimes passive) pursuit of both new and sustained human connection, we risk feeling intolerably alone.